easy Tag

FRAUDULENT EASY SOURDOUGH

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A “SOURDOUGH STARTER”… HOLD THAT THOUGHT, LET ME TAKE AN ADVIL

IF a consistent, punctual biological clock is the indicator of good health and well-being, surprisingly as evidence suggests, I may live much longer than I expected.

On a daily basis, for past 2 decades, my body insists on living breathing sleeping and eating, in a strict and firm accordance with… the Parisian time-zone.  They say that your body is always trying to tell you things that you may not realize about yourself.  To that, I have no argument.  Then on a monthly basis, the beautiful reminder that I am, again, one-month-less away from entering menopause, always comes reassuringly and dependably… 10 days late.  Punctual in her own ways, she loves suspense and once in awhile, watching me peeing on sticks.  But here comes the part where I’m most proud of, a yearly reoccurrence, the kind that only wild animals who are most in tune with nature will demonstrate…

The pre-winter hair-shedding and my October flu.

OK, fine, maybe that sounded a little over-dramatic.  Maybe I just count the hairs on my pillow more nowadays as a sign of mid-life crisis, and instead of a full-blown flu, it’s more like a passive-aggressive, trickling but ever-flowing stream of runny nose.  The kind that is incompetent of granting me a whole week of in-bed movie-marathon, but at the same time, makes damn-well-sure that I look, walk and feel like a days-old, soggy unglazed donut.  So this year, in response to a seasonal time like this, a new behavioural pattern has emerged.  I bake breads.READ MORE

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WORLD’S EASIEST SEXY RACK

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” I’M BRINGING SEXY RACK “

The 6-4 carnival stretches on…  There are bloody evidences of its squanders everywhere, the skin and bones that the beast chewed and spitted out, all over my jabbed and crippled internet.  My brain is still scrambled from yesterday’s epic, titanic emotional meltdown.  My eyes staring into the blinding whiteness on my browser in a futile effort to locate all the pre-meditatedly murdered URL.  There are broken signals of my poisoned VPN.  They occasionally wink back at me…

But this is not where I put my head down.  Even if it means I have to sit right here, on this uncomfortably designed chair that stings my ass, that I have to upload each and every single one of these photos, every fucking, excruciating hour at a time, then so be it.  I’m going to get this done.  That’s right you nasty spitting beast,

I’m bring sexy rack.

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This isn’t just a recipe for a roasted rack of lamb.  When I first discovered its method – witnessing how Thomas Keller gave life and colour to a humongous chunk of rib-roast, too large and uniformly shaped to submit to any traditional browning techniques – it was a revelation.  It meant beyond what the specific recipe was designed for.  It meant that from then on, the path to a piece of meat’s medium-rare doneness, as well as a gorgeously charred surface, can be walked separately.

How many times have I tried to imitate a steak-house rib-eye at home – the kind that shimmers over its deeply caramelised crust with a properly pink and bloody interior – but instead found myself scrubbing down a grease-raped kitchen with the smoke-detector still screaming from the imposed horror, and worse, all for a flap of unevenly and under-browned meat sobbing over its own greyish and overcooked body?  Too.  Many.  Times.  But it could, and has, all stopped here.  The moment when I stopped pretending that my kitchen could conjure the same level of scorching heat as a professional kitchen.  The moment I realised my vent-hood couldn’t even eliminate cigarette smoke let alone the volcano clouds erupting from my cast-iron pan.  Th moment when I discovered, that this could all be done, with none of these silly ruckus.

The answer is a standard, dependable blow-torch.

N…no… what, what is that you’re waving at me?  That impotent little girlish thingy that came with the impulsive creme brulee-set I picked you picked up on your way to get shower-curtains through Bed Bath and Beyond?  N… no, I’m talking about an actual, standard, torch burner that goes on top of a butane canister.  It’s the ultimate fixer-upper in the kitchen, the air-brusher to make up for other cookery’s shortcomings.  In fact it’s the first thing I would recommend if you ask me what’s a must-have in my line of gadgets.  Get, an actual blow-torch.  What it’s able to do, among other things, is that it can apply beautiful, glorious, and most importantly, even browning and caramelising to any specimen of meat no matter how big or small, or how uniformly and awkwardly shaped.

Such as, oh how coincidentally~ a rack of lamb.

You can’t brown a rack of lamb evenly no matter if it’s on the stove… in the oven… over the grill… under the broiler… or by whatever means you can think of (unless you’re prepared to deep-fry it in a bucket, in that case, I solute you).  You just can’t.  Especially with it’s variably thin strip of meat which, by the time you’re done nuking it, could have been disastrously overcooked.  I didn’t say it will.  I said it could, and uncertainly isn’t something I’d like to season with my pricy cut of meat.  Especially when “precision” comes with so little effort.  The thing with a blow-torch is, you can easily apply intense heat that chars the surface beautiful without penetrating deeper into the part where it deserves a gentler treatment, a treatment say, a slow and tender roast inside a warm oven until every section of the meat is brought to the same, even level of pinkish and juicy doneness.  Almost sous-vede!  Then after a proper, beauty-resting, you can give this rack another spanking of heat to get it hot again, without affecting the interior doneness of course.  You rub its cheeks with a kiss of Dijon mustards, and pad it with a thick cake of spice-crust made with ground cumin and fresh mints.  A few more flakes of sea salts before introduction… curtains down… and it’s show time.

Hey, nobody would think that this sexiness came without dropping a sweat amidst the summer?  I say, that’s at least one thing to be cheered for, if you were me.

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Serves: 2 ~ 3 people

I have done steaks before with the same method, but a rack of lamb has even more reasons to benefit from it (evenly more awkwardly shaped).  This is a typical 7-ribs lamb rack that weighs between 900 grams ~ 1100 grams (31.7 oz ~ 38.8 oz).  It doesn’t really matter how big the lamb-rack is, the cooking method is exactly the same.  And you can be really flexible about the herb/spice rub that goes on top.  If you are not a big fan of fresh mint and cumin, feel free to substitute with parsley or etc.

Please DO NOT use those mini-torches that come with a creme brulee-set or something.  They are only as good as a cigarette lighter.  This is the exact torch-burner that I use, which is comparatively economical and practical.  It goes on top of any butane fuel canister that you can buy almost anywhere, and each canister will last a very long time.

A note to pay attention to during roasting is that, the internal temperature will continue to climb about 8~10ºF/5ºC, after the lamb’s removed from the oven.  So you have to calculate that into the desired doneness.  130~140ºF/55~60ºC is a perfectly pink, medium-rare.  Anything else, I do not endorse.


Equipment:

Ingredients:

  • 1 rack of lamb that weighs between 900 grams ~ 1100 grams
  • 1 ~ 2 tbsp of unsalted butter
  • Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper
  • 2 ~ 3 tbsp of Dijon mustard
  • Herbs and spice rub:
    • 3 tbsp of finely chopped fresh mint
    • 2 tbsp of ground cumin
    • 1 tbsp of chill flakes
    • 1/2 tsp of freshly ground black pepper

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Start 1 hour before serving.  Preheat the oven on 300F/145C.

Trim off some excess fat on the lamb rack if you need to.  Place the lamb rack inside a baking sheet and set the baking sheet securely under the kitchen vent-hoods.  Turn the vent on high.  Evenly rub a few nubs of unsalted butter over the lamb, and with your torch-burner, start searing and caramelising the entire surface of the lamb rack.  Keep basting the lamb with the melted butter and rendered fat, and make sure every inch of the surface on both sides (especially the fats) are deeply browned and caramelized.  Some smokes and sparks will arise from the process, but don’t worry, it should be minor and dealt with by your kitchen vent.

Your lamb rack should now look as if it’s gorgeously roasted, but in fact, the interior is still completely uncooked.  Now, season the lamb rack on all sides generously with sea salt and freshly ground black pepper, then set it inside the same baking-sheet with the meat-side facing up.  Insert the meat-thermometer into the centre of the meat, then place it on the middle rack inside the preheated oven.  Keep the thermometer facing outward so you can read the temperature without opening the oven.  Slow-roast the lamb until the internal temperature reads 132ºF/55ºC (remember, the temperature will continue to climb later).  This will take approx 30 to 40 min (there won’t be much happening in the first 20 min).

Once the lamb reaches desired temperature, remove from the oven and cover loosely with a foil and let rest for at least 8 min.  DO NOT remove the meat-thermometer at this point.  You will risk juices escaping through the hole before the meat is properly rested.  Meanwhile, mix the “herbs and spice rub” evenly together.  After 8 min, the temperature should have stopped rising and reads around 140ºF/60ºC (perfectly pink and medium-rare).  Remove the foil (I usually like to briefly torch the lamb at this point to get it “sizzling” again.  it won’t further cook the meat), then brush a thin layer of Dijon mustard covering the meat-side.  Apply the rub over the Dijon and pat gently to help it stick.

Cut the lamb-rack in between bones and season with more sea salt.  Serve immediately.

 

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SPEED FOLDING, PEANUT SUGAR MORNING BUNS

“JUST TWO FOLDINGS, GUYS.  TWOOO FOLDINGS!”

I literally cannot wait, cannot put another wasted minute between you and this recipe.  Cannot contain the overjoy in the fact that I have fulfilled the purpose of why I was put on this earth, my designated service to humanity… it is all done, right here, after I push the “publish” button.  I can die now and be accepted into heaven and I shall be in peace.

Yesterday, armed with skepticism, I entered the kitchen with an unlikely theory.  A few hours later, I came out lit-up like a Christmas tree.  This rarely happens, but it did.

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EMERGENCY SKILLET COOKIE

“Sometimes a moment wasted
IN COOKIE-DELIVERY…
IS LIFE AND DEATH”

Anxiety… do you know about anxiety?

The type that feels like there’s an expanding hot water balloon pressing against my soft parts.  The type that pumps up the pressure on every cubic-inch of air in the space that I gaspingly occupy.  A clinching cast-iron ranch over my lungs that tightens, and then tightens… efforts to breathe muzzled by the air-pressure that squeezes, and just squeezes… neglecting the urgency of a piping hot water balloon in my chest that is screeeeeeching desperately to expand, and EXPAND…

… until, as we all know what happens when you force a ballon, that it just “BAP!”.  Fluids of boiling emotions mixed with bloody lumps of raw angst, splattering so violently against the four white walls of my confinement.  Even the maddeningly slow motion in which they dribble down, by contrast, fuels my raging urge to scream.

All of which, is playing out silently and discreetly behind an expression-less front of a woman, typing calmly in front of her computer.

Anxiety.

I mean I need a cookie like right now.

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Deathly Scalloped Potato Pizza

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It’s barely spring and the apartment isn’t even warm yet, but these days every root vegetables in my kitchen seems to be in a hurry to grow up.  There’s a pot that my cleaning lady set by the window with green stalks surging so high that I almost thought she was bribing me back (aww, you shouldn’t have…).  No, the bottom lies the shallots I bought a few weeks back.  And there’s those deceiving heads of garlic cloves each hiding inside its white jacket, only to be exposed when smashed open that they were secretly stretching out mini antennas to listen in on my conversations with my doughs (puff now, my little one… hush hush).  Then there’re these baby potatoes.  Oh my potato-babies… how it hurts me that they are in such hurry to grow up and leave my loving nest.

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